Realm of Markie

2005-05-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me! Lol, today I woke up and saw 2 messages sent to me. One at 00.10 am and another at 00.12.. haha, damm interesting.. hmm, thanks to those ppl who sms-ed me or remembered my birthday ;) cheers to you haha.. for those who accidentally forgot haha, never mind, im very gracious i just need a pressie thats all.. lol jk.. Went for movie with friends, lol softballers plus poey plus ex softballers sian and yao. Fun sia.. Went cine.. I was just 16 so can watch Kingdom of Heaven!! lol, alvin nat was telling us it sucks but it was good wad.. If u haven watched it, go watch lol. And YAY, i think i broke another high note liao, shou fang kai isn't that hard to sing anymore lol.. Wonderful day still, although it was less than wad i expected..

sigh, there's nothing i can do, im nothing in ur eyes..
quote daniel: you shouldn't be thinking bout sad stuff on ur b'dae.. unquote

2005-05-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

Life is sad. Life is shit. I can't sitting at my computer thinking about it. I just wanna scream out. I just wanna sleep forever. Fuck you. Im gonna spend my birthday like that. Fuck you. You thought it was over. Fuck you. Today I had nothing to do, once i closed my eyes i think of you, once i start to dream i think of nasty things i'll do.. the next time i get pissed off it'll be fking ugly..

2005-05-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

Life is boring now, very boring. I wan to go out lol. Whole day at home play computer until sian, i dun have much games either.. Well karaoke is the best man, haha sang for like an hour at home.. my family is crazy over karaoke, my sis, dad and mom plus me all sing it haha.. But we are chinese oldies freaks so yeah, they are nicer songs i guess, compared to the present ones. My father said I sang the chinese oldies the english way, I didn't realise but mayb a little lah haha.. Everytime I log into frenster, i see that quite some ppl go to my profile one lol. Who surf frenster so much ah? Lol, actually I wanted to join blog with Darrell and Keefe but im not hearing anything from them yet lol. The joint blog will definately beat the other 2, yip yamies poey one and posef yao sian pecky one. Haha, coz its a mix between express and gep. As well as the old classes of F-H knows keefe well. The old classes of A-E will know me. HAHA, so the whole sec 4 batch will visit our blog LOL!
O yes one more thing, dun ask me to play dota, i deleted lancraft, i sometimes play on euro bnet only so yup. Im sick of the stuff that happen in the games, and dun wan to worsen it. Just sick of it k?
Lol, i feel like having some poems hmm lets go! Im kinda inspired by the old boyzone's No matter what.. Lets try.

No matter what

No matter what you do,
No matter what you say,
No matter what you wear,
You'll still make my day

No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
No matter what I wear,
You'll just walk away.

I can't deny what I believe,
And my belief is really true.
That you are the reason why Im living,
My life began with you.

Now that life has gone on,
in you I learnt wads love.
I finally learnt the reason of my life,
You are my angel from above.

Lol, this is a sucky poem haha, eh not bad for 5 mins k.. lol.

one wild night

2005-05-06T20:00:00.001-07:00

I almost cried before i slept last night, i thought of the time when i cried at my confirmation camp.. damm sick feeling, in the morning i felt much better.. im getting sick of things that i dun like, not going my way..

everlasting love

2005-05-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

2005-05-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hey lol i saw it on daniel, yamies and poey's joint blog. Yamies was bengal tiger haha I took the new hamster, dun ask me y the name i just pressed my keyboard lol anyhow.. cute eh?

2005-05-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

I love this song by old boyzone.. Rocks..

I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.

It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you more
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul

If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

i've said enough

2005-04-30T00:44:00.000-07:00

OMG WE WON IT! IT WAS DAMM CLOSE. 0-0 and i would killed myself if we lost. I had the chance of the game to score the damm run and i stopped. I dunno wad i was thinking. it was a 100 percent safe until i stopped. Sigh, really wad a relief when we won it. I failed 2 bunts which isn't me at all. I can't believe it. I suck lol but nvm we won it!! haha.. After finals we went back sch, soccer lol then dinner, they went to movie.. I went home to sleep :D Now me and shou yee competing in POKEMON lol. Lets go! Down with team ROCKET haha..

you were the first one i shared my joy with.

2005-04-27T07:06:00.000-07:00

Im saying i still like you, im just gonna wait.

dreams wun suffice

2005-04-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

Thinking back, mayb i was too much of a pushover, I thought of it too lightly. I now understand why some people acted the way they did. Now i know many more things just in a matter of 2 months. It was just plain stupidity, again..? I dunno i promised myself to keep myself out of trouble but sometimes i just can't. Im going to be 16 soon, time really flies and I should be old enough to know what is life. I now think I know a bit too much for a 15 year old. I fear stuff that others will never think of. I've changed, a lot in fact ever since I entered RI. My thinking has changed, more daring then before, more experienced in terms of administrative stuff. This is getting scary, as I finish my path in Secondary School and reach the JC life, it would be a really terrifying transition I would face, a shock that would chill me down my spine. Some incidents I would never want to forget but some can't forget although i want to. It etches in my brain and will haunt me as long as I live. I rmb reading an article by a lady in her thirties, she still remembers and feel about her boyfriend in secondary school although now she is married. Amazing how young relationship scratches a mark in someone's heart.
Question the purpose of being in a relationship so young? Then question your being here on Earth. I attended Cathecist training today in church, lots of things struck me. We are supposed to procreate for GOD. We have many other purpose in life too, spreading the Word of GOD too. This sentence struck me the most. If God is for you, who can be against you? It made me feel very confident. I rmb on the bus with Lewis, he was talking bout using religion like drugs, to pacify oneself from the troubles of the world and keep thinking that GOD is there. Well, we had proof for those people and I really couldn't stand them doing this. Everything they meet they would say, GOD is with us. We have our freedom, God is our father he gives us the freedom, he is always by our side but does not always solve our problems. We have to solve them ourselves with His guidance. After the learning journey, i was thinking why they are so many orthodox churches, then i realised today, because they indulge in it so deep until they misintrepreted it, then enforce to change it. I feel sad for them because although they are still believing in Christ, perharps they missed out on stuff they choose not to believe. For those guys who insist there's no GOD, if one day u are in some country with beautiful scenery, you would wonder who is able to create that other than GOD. Well Timon recognised that the Catholic Church is the "original" one but I don't understand why protestant chuches are around? I was saying that the Catholic church does not recognise the protestants then he said " we dun recognise yall too" i was like "-.-" we dun need u to recognise us coz we're "original" Well, we still have to respect what they believe in although I always would not like to do that..
I guess i deviated a lot lol. I used to listen to the song, All in love is fair. I really thought it was true, at least until recently. Then i started listening to "tong hua" and "shou fang kai".. Songs are nice but I really hate those 4 min useless sounds that are produced by the so called artist that i dun agree with. From young i always hated those people who anyhow sing or rap and call it music. Well, KaiFong would always be like " I dunno why ur my fren" after we quarrell. Her argument was, let them be their own judge, its their music, respect them. Sigh, what is the world coming to or rather, what is music coming to? I used to listen to chinese oldies who have great melodies and meaningful lyrics or english oldies too.. Slowly, pop came out, brought out the dancing side of music.. Suddenly, u can have some ppl who rap or talk throughout 4 mins and u call it a song and call it music. Its just pissifying.. Oops back.. I dun like the feeling of being a guy behind close doors, be satisfied just to steal a glance.. I liked the lyrics " I could just call you to hear you breathe" But is it enough? Im rather hot tempered now, been having mood swings during training and stuff when things dun go the way i expected to be. If every dream I had was about you, it won't be enough, lol different from Cherie's nick but yes, although i actually dreamt bout you a few times already, but that other guy is always there.. I dream too much, I think too much. Im just a dreamer that never stays in the dream for long. Once i break out of it, i break down and disintegrate like i never existed.

dreaming is neva enuff

2005-04-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

I dropped my phone into the toilet bowl, now its spoilt. Then i forgot something quite impt to the match lol but it didn't affect me lah. But i was so damm cocked up dunno y. Fish lah, i hope that thing doesn't keep pestering in my mind, its so hard to get rid of it, but in fact it is something i want to keep in mind so it shouldn't be distracting me.. lol im talking crap. o well tmr learning journey gonna suck so i will sleep there one lah lol..

You're my angel from above,
for me to hold and idolise.
she will be loved,
because angels brought me here

Lol, above poem is made up of lyrics from 4 songs.. :D

don't want to forget

2005-04-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

I still feel like shit. Here's an old poem for everyone..

Nobody knows

I want to forget everything,

To rid me of my pain,

Thinking of her just feels like,

Walking in the rain.

Time is running out,

Tears are running dry.

Let time heal all wounds,

and there is no need to cry.

Nobody knows the pain i feel inside,

Nobody knows the hatred i bear,

Nobody knows the affection I feel for you,

But everything in the end, will vanish into thin air.

Quote: Let time heal all wounds

fuck it

2005-04-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

thanks to f-kers who spread untrue stuff around since secondary one. My reputation now in my opinion is something i do not wan to have. Go fuck urself ppl..

2005-04-09T21:35:00.000-07:00

I haven been performing well in training. Something is bothering me, i know it shouldn't affect me but I just can't get it off my mind. Im just gonna suffer in silence.
Anyway, im so addicted to the few songs I heard. One was in the Inter house Chinese Cultural Camp which Morrison Won!! Haha, its shang xuan yue by Ou De Yang. His voice is so damm high, very high. Others are Honey by Cyndi, Shou Fang Kai by Li Sheng Jie and Tong Hua by Guang Liang. Thanks to Enghow! Haha.
Swimming carnival coming up.. Wee, I love it!

Forget

Did you see the stars that night?
It represented what my heart looks like.
We look up to the same bright sky
But im the only one that let my feelings fly.

Stars turn dimmer,
and day takes over.
I sit on the ground
and start to sober

Why must I forget,
to make myself feel better.
Why does stars only come at night,
stay they never.

Night falls and the world turns darker,
I only love you and no other.
My tears start to fall and I start to think.
whether its worth it i wonder.

can't forget you

2005-04-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Fuck lah, i feel damm shit now. People fucking pushing me for work. Teachers giving me pressure. And some fucked up tchr in charge.. Parents not understanding, need to put up a show in school.. I have enuff of this.. Enuff.. People look down on me, people criticising me behind my back.. seriously fuck off..

2005-04-01T03:53:00.000-08:00

Which Incredibles Character Are You?
brought to you by
Quizilla

Lol perharps im too bored, feeling kinda sick these few days. Dreamt of so many things last night, everything lumped together. Wad a sick feeling.. I saw people that I thought of in the day, running together in front of me away from the tsunami i dreamt. I saw the worriedness of everyone, i saw death staring at me. Im not myself nowadays, im getting really sick and tired already. I have only myself to blame. Today april fools helped a bit. Someone went to put a notice at Junior Block saying its unsafe and that everyone proceed to the hall. Lol, wad a great prank. The sec 4's applauded for the idea. I tricked several people today, some getting fed up hee. Well, this morning after that nightmare, i was really acting strange and very blur. I felt that I had a close shave with death.
Is it really my fault? Is really becoz of me?

Love Story

Can't get her face out of my mind,

Can't forget her smile to ease my pain,

Can't ignore her laughter in any way,

I just hope i'll see her again.

Never knew love will feel like this,

Never knew affection can be so deep,

Never knew a crush was so strong,

That I even smiled in my sleep.

Can't imagine what will happen,

If one day she leaves my sight,

But one thing i certainly know,

I'll find her with all my might.

Never know what will happen,

if i don't let my feelings show,

but one thing's for sure,

if its bad i don't want to know.

Here I am standing before you,

real and humble and meak,

but when you turn away from me,

tears trickle down my cheek.

I was never noticed, never cared bout,

wanted to talk but you walked out.

Stuck in my thoughts and pain in my heart,

never knew loving could be as hard.

I knew loving was never an easy task,

its a skit and im part of the cast.

Rehearsals from dawn to dusk,

Im so tired and rest i must.

I wake and realised that i have to,

get the girl that i want.

Boys out there just screw off,

pack your bags and better run.

If you try and interfere,

give her gold and fur.

I'll tell ya wad,

your not gonna get with my gal.

Well, this poem's gotta end,

I just want to simply say,

I really have a crush on you,

and i'll keep that come what may.

Even though my dream was shattered,

my heart stays the same.

What i said above will always be,

upheld by my name.

I knew this all would happen,

once i bore to you my heart.

And I got back nothing at all,

not even a "Wake Up" card.

This poem will never end,

as long as you are here.

My heart races and my hands shake,

whenever you are near.

So don't fret and live on,

as i still live in the past.

Where loving is still a skit

and im still part of the cast.

Tomorrow morning when i wake up,

your face i will forget.

But when i check my heart,

there'll always be a gap.

Even if a thousand arrows had to pierce through my heart,

I won't feel a thing.

Coz my heart has been smashed into pieces,

when you say we have to part

Guessed I've should have kept it a secret,

then i can keep my heart in place.
Guessed I should looked at the time,

because i just missed the train.

Pisses me off when things happen,

again and again.

Love is just a piece of crap,

which leaves me in severe pain.

So long this will be my last entry,

Until one day i regain my sanity.

2005-03-29T04:50:00.000-08:00

Suddenly I felt very lost today, I was quite distracted. I would suddenly check my right pocket for my handphone, and panic that it wasn't there. But actually I moved it to my left pocket already. I hope this won't continue. I hope i'll get over it soon. I promise... I brought this upon myself and I shall take it on my own. I prayed to God for a solution, and yes this is the solution. A very good one actually. Im just feeling a little shaken and it'll be over in a matter of a few days. My heart doesn't ache.. well not a lot?
Anyway, today's match rocked, we won so closely and like dammit, i didn't manage to get on base. Haha. Good game for us, many learning points.

2005-03-25T17:44:00.000-08:00

All My Life Lyrics
by K-ci & Jojo
I will never find another lover sweeter than you,
Sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinking of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow.
You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all I see is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all I see is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down and I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

2005-03-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a day with mixed feelings. The announcement of Nat team 2005. Many surprises and stuff. Well, shan't go into details but We will WIN!! Horrible term for me, hope term 2 would be better. But it isn't a very good start, I have been handing in my homework kinda late and Im always feeling lethargic bout school work and stuff. But when it comes to softball or Morrison, i immediately spring up and do stuff. My parents are worried that I may burn out. I would say, better than be nothing in a school like RI. You want to spend your life in RI doing nothing, but graduate with a GPA of 4.0? I don't want that. I want a super super long testimonial and a GPA of 3.4. It would really be enough. I had always thought that if you would be with me, it really would be the last piece of the puzzle to my life that I love so dearly. Nobody knows me well, I can't blame anyone for that, it is because I don't reveal myself to others. There will be a chance for me to shine, i feel it.. Haven started on HW, im starting today. Tmr first match against Bedok Green, they're gonna feel our wrath :D People are still making fun of my mistake in my prep speech at the podium that day. It was a really bad bad mistake but haha, nvm at least I did make an impact huh? HAHA. SRC rocks man, I stole bases like nobody's business. Only once lol, Farhan force play I out! haha, damm pissing lah but never mind. Im still THE MARK, not the run-like-chicken Mark in ACS I. Lol. The acs guys are really friendly, in softball that is, our hated rivals are Cat high and peicai. HAHA, watch us baby..

2005-03-18T04:12:00.000-08:00

Crush

The skit on love makes me sick,
I'll rather just be a background crew.
Once the terrible skit ends,
My life will start anew.

So near yet so far,
My feelings for you are on par,
with the strong waves and the sun,
But a one sided love is never fun.

I sit at the back of the bus,
stealing glances at you.
I wish that you would catch me lookin,
and return a sweet smile too.

But I know this will never happen,
Dreams will never come true.
Been deceiving myself all along,
Can't believe i'm such a fool.